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Humor Post your funny stuff here! Videos, Jokes, you name it! Please keep it clean!

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Old 07-14-2011, 10:05 PM   #1
Jerry: BLACK 85 GT h/b
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Default 7 Degrees of Blonde

7 degrees of Blonde



FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.'

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
__________________
Jerry: BLACK 85 h/b




To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. Thomas Jefferson
“The best government is that which governs least.”
variously attributed

A/R "Swirl" wheels
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:21 PM   #2
Shakerhood
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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde Snowman?

You have to hollow out the head
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Old 08-05-2011, 12:14 AM   #3
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What do you call a Smart Blonde?




A Golden Retriever!
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Old 08-05-2011, 07:55 PM   #4
Jerry: BLACK 85 GT h/b
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Default

What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair brunette?



Artificial intelligence.
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Jerry: BLACK 85 h/b




To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. Thomas Jefferson
“The best government is that which governs least.”
variously attributed

A/R "Swirl" wheels
FRPP clutch/flywheel
subframe connectors
BBK catted H-Pipe
Flowmaster American Thunder exhaust
Edelbrock Performer Intake Manifold

Click HERE to REGISTER YOUR GT!
Jerry: BLACK 85 GT h/b is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2011, 10:17 PM   #5
wadus
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What do you call a brunette between two blondes?


An interpreter!
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Old 10-19-2011, 01:28 PM   #6
James7706
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LOL!!! Funny!
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Old 10-19-2011, 02:11 PM   #7
PLAY400
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Default

A blind man wanders into an all-girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair given that you are blind that you should know five things’

The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?’The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, ‘No… Not if I’m going to have to explain it five times.’
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