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Humor Post your funny stuff here! Videos, Jokes, you name it! Please keep it clean!

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Old 03-30-2010, 01:29 AM   #1
Shadow 1
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Default A little humor

The Navy Chief


The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"

"John," the new seaman replied.

"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Chief'. Do I make myself clear?"

"Aye, Aye Chief!"

"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"

The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."

"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ."












A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 a.m. by a loud pounding on their front door.
The man gets up, and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring
rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband. "It's three in the morning" !
He slams the door and returns to his bed.
"Who was that" ? asked his wife.
"Oh, just some drunk guy asking for a push" he answers.
"Did you help him" ? she asks.
"No, I did not. It's three in the morning, and it's raining out there" !
"Well, you have a short memory" says his wife. "Can't you remember about
three months ago when WE broke down, and those two guys helped us ?
I think you should go out, help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself".
The man agrees, gets dressed, and goes out into the heavy pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still out there Mister" ?
"Yes" came back the answer.
"Do you still need a push" ? calls out the husband.
"Yes, please" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you" ? asks the husband.
"Over here on the swings" replied the drunk.
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Old 03-30-2010, 02:10 AM   #2
1982 niGhTmare
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Never heard those before, I guess you do have a sense of humor after all

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Old 03-30-2010, 09:16 AM   #3
Jerry: BLACK 85 GT h/b
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"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do."
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Old 03-30-2010, 10:45 AM   #4
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hahahahaa nice.
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Old 03-30-2010, 12:24 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerry: BLACK 85 GT h/b
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do."
That's exactly what I did.


I wish I could take credit for them but my wife got it in a e-mail and she forwarded it to me. I thought they were too good not to share.
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